Imagine an alien sharing a cool human fact they just learned like ”hey guys did you know that the silvery markings on humans actually aren’t true stripes? They’re called stretch marks, they happen when the human is growing fast enough to actually outgrow their skin, which is apparently something that just fucking happens to almost all of them at some point of their life.”
and another one is like ”wait so you’re saying humans don’t have stripes.”
”actually they do, but the stripes are invisible. There’s genetic code that’d give them stripes but they’re just the same colour as the rest of the skin. So the visible stripes are not real stripes and the real stripes are invisible.”
”I swear if you tell me one more weird human thing today I’m beating your ass.”
The human in the room looks up and goes “Wait I have stripes?”
“what do you mean cats can see them, but I can’t?”
what do you fucking mean cats can see them
I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THOUGHT PROCESS
MY CAT THINKS I HAVE STRIPES?!?!?!?
NO NO ITS NOT “IT THINKS I HAVE THEM”
BECAUSE WE DOAPPARENTLY
SO ITS ACTUALLY A VERY DISTRESSED “MY CAT THINKS I KNOW I HAVE STRIPES?!?!?!”
AND I THINK THATS A BIT WORSE TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST
The episode where Hank won’t let Peggy drive the motorcycle until he breaks his glasses and she has to drive, and he realizes he loves riding bitch? That’s basically The Pegging Episode. It’s allegorical.
The transition between kid Megamind and adult Megamind being the kid Megamind blowing up the school and adult Megamind emerging from the blue smoke in full villain costume, complete with manic laughter
Roxanne’s opening number being her trying to write a piece for the museum opening “An ocean inside a bigger ocean…”
A reprise of the above song when she’s singing about Megamind and her confused feelings for him
Megamind and Roxanne’s sad duet in the rain “Love Someone Like You/Love Someone Like Me”
BLACK MAMBAAAAAAAAAAAA
Hal’s evil rampage song “Under New Management.”
Megamind and Minion’s duet about their weird but special friendship
Metroman’s “I have eyes that can see” starting off silly but slowly transitioning into a sad ballad about how, unlike Megamind, he’s never loved his assigned role and wants to be his own person, doing what he loves
“I’m Bad” being the closing number
How DARE you. How dare you present this thing, this thing that does not exist, that has never been, that will never be, and make me crave it with such an intensity that I am physically ANGRY at not having it right now.
What really fucks me up about a 40 hour work week and I’ve tried to explain to people over and over is that like of you do the math you have maybe 3 hours every day to just like. Rest and be with your family. And that’s kind of it
Like the average adult needs about 8 hours of sleep every night, so that cuts your 24 hours to 16 right off the bat.
You’re working for 8 hours, so 8 left.
But you actually work 8 to 5 at most offices, not 9 to 5, and that lunch is basically just long enough to retrieve food and eat. 7.
It took you 20 minutes to shower this morning, 10 to get dressed, and 45 to make a bowl of oatmeal and eat it. We’ll say 15 to get your stuff together and out to your car. 5 and a half.
You get home and have to cook dinner, 30 minutes min for that, probably more like an hour, so somewhere between 5 and 4.5 hrs left. And then you’ve got to eat it, 30 minutes if you’re being healthy about it.
So at best you’ve MAYBE got 4/4.5 hours left every week day and that’s assuming you ran exactly zero errands, didn’t stop by the gym after work, didn’t have to stay late, have a wicked fast transition time between tasks AND a commute of like 5 minutes by car. If you have to go to the store after a quick run at the gym, pick your kids up from soccer across town, and you factor in a 30 minute commute both ways, you’ve got enough free time for like one episode of show Monday through Friday. And weekends have got to be for cleaning the house and going to visit your mom for a few hours.
When do you write, or paint, or read or sew or go on hikes? When do you go on spur of the moment adventures with your wife and try to perfect your grandma’s soda bread? What happens when it rains on Saturday after being sunny all the rest of the week so you can’t go to the zoo that day and you don’t have enough money for the museum? Why are we all just content to postpone our whole lives, put off “happy” and “healthy” for a miniscule amount of extra value we’re producing for someone else?
And it’s also a thing that fascinates me about hustle culture like. When do y'all rest? When do sleep and food happen? How do you make 3 different jobs work without dying?
Idk idk like I said I’m real fucked up about it. It amazes me that more office workers aren’t great big socialists because we have this miserable job where we’re monitored constantly and just have to sit. Still. And maintain focus on ONE THING for EIGHT HOURS in a BORING GRAY ROOM with exactly two short breaks at designated times and I just?? How does that not suck for literally everyone else?? You said yourself, Angie, you’re useless after 3 pm so just?? Organize with me and negotiate for shorter days??? Like you’re literally already only producing 6 hours of value, you don’t need to be sitting there for longer than that.
…then add the Neurodivergent Tax of taking more time to do these things and recovery time afterward, and you’re looking at a deficit that has to come from somewhere
every time i talk about the possibility to cut down the 40 hour week by doing more automatisation of tasks that e.g. don’t require a human to sit in front of a monitor i get looked at weirdly. it’s so bizzare to me that it’s not about the amount of work you do, it is just the time you are held in the building. time is really the only true currency in this world.
What if you poked me in the chest and your finger broke through like you were cracking into a rotted plank of wood and dust came out and I just crumpled into nothing and my spores got into your nose
I would not hang out with you again that’s for sure!
