I just wanted to pop in and say that I’ve been...

fuckyeahasexual:

I just wanted to pop in and say that I’ve been rediscovering my asexuality after a particularly rough relationship. I was in a three year relationship with someone I was basically engaged to and I had to end it because sex (or lack their of) was such a big thing for this person that they would basically guilt me for not having sex with them. Even though we had had so many discussions about my sexuality and ways we could work things out, it was always an issue that he couldn’t have sex with ME.
Now I’m in a new relationship with someone who actually gives a shit that I’m ace and doesn’t try to negotiate my sexuality. He cared enough to do research on his own and then asked me about what being ace means for me. He respects my boundaries and has never once made me feel like a bad partner or unworthy of love. It just really makes me happy to not have to feel like I’m bargaining my identity and personally boundaries in order to be loved.
I just wanted to share. Dating as an ace individual is challenging. You should never ever feel like you need to compromise your comfort levels or your identity in a relationship in order to be a good partner. That applies for ANY relationship, but I don’t feel like it’s stressed enough for the aro/ace community. Don’t force yourself to be “normal,” because there’s nothing wrong with you! I had to learn that the hard way, but I hope I can spare some others the trauma and trouble.